Sunday, November 12, 2017

The Brat Alphabet (THE BRAT-PHABET) by Anda

By Anda

A is for... "And I should do that, why?", attitude, and arguing

B is for... Blowing raspberries, "Bottoms are always right.", and "Bring it on."

C is for... "Come and get me, if you can.", "Can't right now, try asking later.", "Can we pretend this didn't happen?"

D is for... "Didn't hurt.", "Don't you ever get tired of.....?", and "Does the term 'cruel and unusual punishment' mean anything to you?!"

E is for... "Evil bastard!", "Ever thought about lifting weights?", and eye-rolling

F is for... "Fuck!", "Fucker!", "Fuck you!", "Fuck that!", "Fuck no!", "Fuck trees!", etc, etc ad nauseum

G is for... "Go away, I'm busy.", and glitter.

H is for... "HELL naw!", "Have you ever heard the word 'no'?" "How about I don't and say I did?", "Hit me with your best shot.", and "Have you started yet?"

I is for... "In your dreams.", "I have no idea what you're talking about.", "I'm innocent!", "I'd be happy to show you how to use that.", and "I won't do it again, I promise!"

J is for "Just kidding!" 

K is for "Keep that thing away from me!", "Keep telling yourself that."

L is for "Listen...", and "Look, what had happened was..."

M is for... "Make me!", "Meanieface!"

N is for... "No!" 

O is for... "Ooooor I could just not...?", "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say/need something?"

P is for... "Puh-lease.", poking, "Prove it.", promising to be good, pleading the 5th, and pouting.

Q is for... "Quiet!", "Quite unimpressive.", and quickfulness 

R is for... "Really?" "Remember that time....", and running

S is for... "Sir, yes, sir!," saluting, sarcasm, stomping, and "Sorry, sir!"

T is for... "That all you've got?"

U is for... "Understand me when I say I don't give a flying flip.", and "Until proven guilty, I maintain my innocence!"

V is for... "Victory is mine!", and "Very funny."

W is for... "What the d-type doesn't know doesn't hurt me.!", "Whatever.", and "Will you please just not?"

X is for... "'X' marks the spot where I've hidden your toys. Good luck."

Y is for... "You wouldn't dare.", "Yeah, sure, uh-huh.",  "Yeah, right.", "You can't make me.", and "You really don't have to do this!"

Z is for... "Zero. That's the number of fucks I give."

Disclaimer: The above is a work of fiction. The author does not advise the actual use of the above alphabet in real life. The author accepts no responsibility for the potential consequences faced by anyone choosing to use the above alphabet during interactions with their d-type. No representation is made that the quality of bratty services to be performed is greater than the quality of bratty services to be performed by other brats.

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